Lauderhill What am I doing here?
#1
This had to be the single most ridiculous thing he had ever done in his life. He didn't need a shrink. The only reason he was even trying to come here was because of Cami who seemed convinced it was a good idea. Her opinion weighed a lot. And maybe Dax was secretly in love with her.
Of course he had gotten slapped on the wrist many times because of his conduct as a police officer but his captains' weak spot for him had saved him every time.

Now Dax was ringing the bell of a therapist and actually got sweaty hands.
#2

house refs



Misaki generally took her clients in through ads, but there was the occasional word of mouth. Just as Theo and Axel had been directed to her by Asha. The same was true of her newest client. She had not given Cami therapy but they got together often for engaging conversations about life and plants. So when the topic of her job and if she was open to take on new patients came up Misaki hadn't thought much of it. Although now when she thought it through it might have been good to have talked with Dax Bailey before the appointment. Cami had of course been the one to set everything up.

When the doorbell rang she had just been drying her hands after cleaning up from time in the garden. Things were coming along nicely and she often had sessions outside, but never first time ones. After a quick inspection to make sure the dirt was gone from her nails she answered the door.

Dax Bailey was a tall man, with a military air and a hair cut to match. Though Misaki wasn't sure what the rules were on beards in the armed forces. He certainly fit with the idea of a police officer, the only thing beyond his name that Misaki knew.

"You must be Dax Bailey"

She greeted with a warm smile motioned him inside. As was her usual she wore long sleeves and a long skirt even in the heat.
#3
The owner of the place was just as unlikely as her therapy location. Dax had expected some sort of hospital setting and had been directed to a quaint home instead.
The woman who opened the door was petit and Asian. She had porcelain skin and friendly smile. Not what he had expected. Heck, she was attractive.
He only blinked once before he found his natural smile and nodded. "I am. Miss Inoue? My friend Camilla gave me your adress." Hopefully he hadn't insulted her by mispronouncing her name.
And just like that his prejudice and aversion melted away like ice cream in sunshine.

Dax entered the house and followed her to one of the rooms. As he looked around, he spotted nicely decorate rooms that made him want to live here. It looked like an interior designer had made it and was a stark contrast to his own, slightly cluttered home.
#4
Working with as clients had made Misaki quiet use to hearing her last name in many variations, and never had she found it offensive. She didn't expect people who had grown up here to know the correct pronunciation right away.

As with every session there would be a steaming pot of tea on the coffee table, right next to the small zen garden with its little bright red torri gate. Once Dax picked a seat she would take the one across or diagonal.

"You can call me Misaki if you want. Although Camilla is the one that set up this appointment nothing that is talked about here will be told to her. As a therapist confidentiality is guaranteed beyond a few exceptions, which being a police officer you might already be aware off."

She highly doubted she would ever have to disclose anything, given his job she didn't think Dax would be the sort of person to plan a murder.

"Before we get started were there any concerns or questions you had?"
#5
Her home and the room she took him to perfectly matched hos image of her. The little Zen garden, the tea pot...
He was tense but not as tense as in some cases he had worked.
She let him know that Camilla would not hear about anything he told the psychologist.
"Thank you. I assumed so."

Briefly he looked around after sitting down and pressed his lips together. "Not really."
She didn't need to know that she was not happy about being here. He felt more or less forced to in order to keep his job...plus Cami thought it was a good idea.
#6
Most clients were nervous for the first session so that was all Misaki read his body language as. With them both seated she would pour out the tea into cups offering one to him.

"To start why dont you tell me the reason you decided to try therapy?"

It was her ice breaker for every beginning, for good reason. Generally it was a easy way to move into what the client sought from her. Though she admitted her last few sessions had all been with supernaturals and were a bit different.

Holding the warm cup between her hands she let Dax take his time in any response. The bright sunlight streaming in through the wide windows, with the wide reaching green of her garden beyond, brought a peacefulness to the air even if just for her.
#7
Dax watched her and her tea cup. It looked like she was warming her hands but it also looked very calm and collected perfectly matching her whole appearance and surroundings. This wasnt as bad as he thought, at least visually.
"Okay. Yeah."
Dax shifted a little in his seat and smiled. "I've never done this before so... Well, I'm a police officer. I work cases that usually involved serious crimes. I'm one of the guys that make sure our streets aren't filled with armed criminals and drugs. But in order to do that job effectively I sometimes...I don't act very nice when it comes to criminals. I feel like I should do whatever it takes to get an arrest....can I ask you something?"
This was maybe already giving too much away.
"Can what I say here be used against me in court?"
#8
She was getting use to being asked that question. This would be the fourth time in a row? It was cropping up often. A given considering all her new clients potential to have a run in with the law.

"I am required by law to tell the police if you plan to harm anyone, they can also gain access to my records if you were to be put on trail for a crime. "

She felt it was best to be transparent, even if it could mean that some people would not receive her help. Better to be clear up front then for something to happen down the line.

"To clarify if you wanted to punch a criminal that wouldn't be a problem, but if planned on doing sever damage such as resulting in lose of life or quality of living then I would have to disclose our sessions."
#9
Dax fell quiet for a moment when he heard those things. There was a reason he had not gone to one of the police psychologists but a private one.
What he had done in the past was probably bordering on crimes. He wasn't happy that it could possibly be accessed by the police.
He contemplated whether he'd even want to talk now?
But it didn't take him long to decide that he'd keep it vague so nothing could be pinned on him but still give this psychologist a try, at least.
He wasn't planning to murder anyone after all.
"Thank you. We can go ahead then."
#10
As Misaki's ability was not in mind reading she did not know of any internal dilemma.

"So your concern is over your aggression when dealing with criminals?"

She wanted to get to the point of it. Was it aggression in general or something more. PTSD perhaps given his line of work?

"Do you find yourself displaying similar habits outside of work?"
#11
okay, so the questions began. It was time for the truth and Dax was aware that this could get ugly and uncomfortable. After all he knew what Cami had said to him many times and other people as well.
"Not really. I mean I am a guy. If someone pushes me or talks shit, I won't sit back and pull my tail between my legs but I'm not chasing arguments." No, his problem was not with his friends or the general public.
"My friend thinks I'm too aggressive when it comes to criminals. If I know someone has done wrong, like really wrong, dealing drugs, hurting or killing someone, major theft, abuse...that kind of thing, I treat them accordingly. I make sure I get an arrest. So I'd say, my main focus is on criminals but it seems that sometimes I'm too hard on them."
That sounded like he was beating and shooting every person he was bringing in which wasn't the case. But if someone resisted or withheld information....
#12
She had heard a lot things being justified by being a 'man', but for now she would let such comments slide. At the moment her attention was on the other things Dax was telling her. The trouble not with friends but with criminals. Treat them accordingly was vague, there were far to many ways to read into such words.

"How do you treat those you arrest? Do you get physical?"

She had to press him about this. A generalization would not help her understand what was going on and then she wouldn't be able to help.
#13
This was very thin ice he was walking on here. Getting physical with a suspect without very good cause was illegal and could land him in a lot of trouble. The only way this would be not so frowned upon was in self defense.
"Sometimes, when I have to protect myself or my partner."
He huffed a bit and tried to justify his means.
"Criminals get away with everything. You have no idea how many times we've had to let criminals go because of technicalities. How many times my colleagues or I have been disrespected or even physically harmed. When I know a crime has been commited or is in progress, I do what I need to...if that means force, then why the heck not."
#14
The answer was a very clear yes. He passed it off as self defense but she could hear the anger in his words. It was a lot of anger to have. Towards strangers. It didn't seem that he even considered that the criminals were human too. She knew it could be hard when truly horrible crimes happened. Even now she was still struggling to understand her own attacker as a person with a life, with family who loved him. The problem with hate was that it ate up life. She had spent years hating, unable to enjoy even the sunshine after the rain, years that she would never get back. Why destroy her life over the past, there was so much more, so many things she still wanted to experience. She would not forget what had happened. Even if she wanted to the pain of what had happened was literally scars on her skin.

Out of habit she pulled the sleeves of her shirt further down.

"What made you become a cop?"

Her own trauma had lead her to psychology.
#15
Judhing by her look or maybe the extra moment she had some sort of thoughts on what he had said.
Instead of telling Dax she asked another question and the police officer went along with it.
"At first it seemed like an adventure. You know...fighting crime, guns, physical training, a uniform. I also wanted a job that would take me in the opposite direction than my low life dad. But it soon became more idealistic when I saw what sort of crimes were happening. If you've ever seen a child mishandled or an innocent person beaten for cash or the dealers getting rich on the mystery of others you can't look away. You want to help. That's become my main motivation...still is."
#16
It was a very noble reason to join, innocent, perhaps a bit childish. But she liked that. If it had been any other job she wondered if Dax would even be here. She was starting to get a picture of the issue. Based only on what she had heard she would label him as to empathetic. Taking on injustices that weren't his. Every crime becoming a blow against him. He was taking this too personal.

"Alright I want to run through a scenario with you if you are up for it."
#17
"Sure."
Dax had no idea what she meant.
Scenarios were usually sonething used fir police training to see what the best options were. This was most likely very different but still high pathetical.
Dax shifted in his seat but didn't yet feel uncomfortable.
#18
" What would you do if you saw a stranger being mugged?"

She was pretty sure of the answer on this, but it was a build up. A slow start to something that would expand and hopefully confirm her thoughts or move them towards a different direction.
#19
"I wouldn't stand by. I'd help the victim."
What kind of a question was this? A trick?
Of course he would.
He furrowed his brow and waited for another one but added.
"It's my duty but I would even if it wasn't."
#20
"What if that stranger turned out to be someone you know?"

He looked quiet suspicious, she wasn't trying to trick him. There was no right or wrong answer she was simply just seeing how he would respond.
#21
His brow furrowed even more because he didn't see where she was going or what that even meant.
"If someone I knew got attacked I'd be helping even faster. I'd probably make sure that they're okay. I'm usually not worried about my own well being because I've got lots of training and know how to handle myself. So I can step in!"
He felt a certain feeling of anger rise just thinking about it. If anyone attacked Cami, he'd get ferocious.
#22
Ah, he had taken it as the stranger being the victim.

"Im sorry let me clarify, what if the person doing the mugging was someone you knew?"

She would try to be more precise in the future.
#23
"Oh!" That didn't even occur to him. Come to think about he did have a friend who used to sell drugs. Back then Dax wasn't a cop though.
"I'd try to talk them out of it. If they were not reacting...I'd probably still side with the victim. Crime is crime...when you commit it, you need to face the backlash."
For a moment he thought about it...what if a really good friend commited a crime because they were forced to.
"I don't know if I could pull the trigger on a friend if I had to."
#24
She wrote a few short notes down on her writing pad. She kept one for each patient she was seeing. Though the notes most likely wouldn't make sense to anyone else as she wrote in a short hand for herself.

"Are you much of a reader?"

Exposure was probably the best method to use. But to do it physically would mean having Dax study a criminal, and she only had knowledge on one. That was something she wasn't sure she could handle talking about to her own patient. Perhaps they could start out with books?
#25
"No, I don't really read." He confessed. Dax totally fulfilled the stereotype of brute.
But he didn't care. Reading was just not his thing.
"Why?"
#26
So reading wasn't something he enjoyed, she would not that as well.

"There are several paths for therapy, I want to find one that would work best for you. Since you aren't much a ready I think we should try a different approach."

She considered it more. She wanted to begin by nudging Dax towards understanding criminals as something beyond that word, as well as getting further to the root of the problem. A two fold situation really. Perhaps it would be better to put aside the criminal problem for now and deal more with the addressing the anger.

"Have you ever heard of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy before?"
#27
He quickly understood that her approach wasn't working. He wouldn't pay to read a book anyway.
The other appeoach gave him the creeps, though.
"No...I haven't. Are you going to whispers sweet words in my ear while I stare at something and make me a decent cop? " His tone was dripping with sarcasm now, mostly because of the unknown.
#28
She was rather startled at the venom now being directed towards her. So far Dax hadn't shown himself to be a client that would turn on her in frustration. And his guess of what EMDR was completely off.

"I believe you are thinking of hypnosis, which is not therapy nor something I practice."

Misaki did have magical powers though, just not brain changing ones. And she made the decision to never mention it to Dax.

"EMDR is a psychotherapy treatment to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories and other adverse life experience. I would have you process your experiences while focusing on external stimulation."
#29
His idea of this therapy was quickly corrected with a few facts."It still sounds creepy" Dax confessed but was at least willing to listen.
His brows shot up at the term external stimulation. Why did he instantly think of a handjob?
Dax reigned in his ideas. He nodded.
"When is the last exit chance? And there is a slight problem. I have no trauma."
#30
It wasn't getting the best response from Dax. She wouldn't force the issue if the really didn't want to try EDMR.

"It can be used for other adverse life events, such as the things you see in your police work. The idea behind RDMR is to shift the emotions you feel from a negative to more of a neutral. We could try doing trail day if you would like. But if this is not something you want to pursue we can look into other methods."
#31
Nothing about seeing a psychologist was comfortable. He had to get used to the idea of opening up and hoping she knew what worked. So he'd have to try new things.
"These ideas are just strange and new to me. I should try it once you figured out what my problem is...or have you already?"
That would be strange. She'd be very quick and good at her ob.
#32
He was willing to try and that was a good step. She knew it could be hard, therapy never was easy. The client had to be on board with the process otherwise the whole thing would be for naught.

"I have some ideas, but I don't want to color your perception be giving them to you."

She could still be wrong after all. Sometimes it was worse to say things. It could create a fear and manifest as a new issue.

"If you are onboard with trying EDMR why don't we schedule an appointment for next week if you have time?"
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