Hi Hinode,
I'm very sorry. That sounds absolutely horrible. It definitely sounds like you're becoming a shifter. If you do not go through with an unturning, you will become whatever it is that infected you on the next full moon. Which is, unfortunately, soon.
I don't mean to alarm you. I only want to be upfront with you. I'm a weasel. Yup. A tiny critter that can get into almost anything no matter how much I try and stop her. Being a weasel was my choice in order to help cure my cancer. In my case, it worked and it was lifesaving.
Being a were comes with many perks but it also comes with many cons as well. Your grocery bill will skyrocket to help feed the animal inside you. You won't remember any time while shifted until you learn to connect with the animal in your head. It's disorientating at first and miserable. If you are a big animal, you also pose a more serious threat to others. While weres are stronger and faster than humans, we can spread infection easily -- both while shifted and not shifted (saliva and bodily fluids, scratches, bites). At first shifts can happen more frequently from extreme emotion/stress as well as every full moon.
It's... a lot. To say the least. A big life-changing experience that is now preventable if you are in touch with a pact who can help. I believe they can also help after you shift if you decide it's too much and not for you. Though I don't know how rare pacts are or how often they can perform such feats.
I know this is a lot, so feel free to digest it and ask any questions that come to mind.
Sending love your way.
Sincerely,
Luisa